Why Making Comparisons Can Make You Miserable!

Comparisons: A Formula For Feeling Miserable?

Tumisu / Pixabay

If you want to feel miserable, then I would recommend that you “compare” yourself to somebody or something!

Why would I want to do that?

You probably do already, and would claim that you don’t!

BUT …. if we pay close attention to our thoughts, we probably do IT all the time!


Without even realizing it!

The Origins Of Comparison (One of Them)

It goes deep. It is engraved in us from our early childhood.

Remember back in school, when the teacher put a list on the board
of all the students grades?!

There were those at the top who had gold stars …. those in the middle,
and those at the bottom!

Innocent right?   Just an opportunity to “improve” oneself and get that
coveted “Gold Star”!

Modern Life: A Search  For Gold Stars

Life sometimes feels like that. A never-ending chase after the “gold stars” that society seems to put on our path.

And oh what measures and what lengths we go to to get them!

One need only look at the so called Hollywood “stars” to see the dramatic extents that some will go to, and push themselves to gain and retain glory!


But what has that got to do with “comparing” one might say?

Success Is Relative

And comparison is the benchmark that we use to measure our success.

Success ….. glory ….. fame …… money ……. looks !!!

These things are not so bad to quest after in themselves, but often come as
a result of comparing oneself to others.

The problems with comparing ourselves to others for our success are:

  • It denies us our original and unique birthright and sense of self
  • There are few winners and far too many people coming up short
  • The risk is one starts to lose one’s way and path by comparing oneself to others

And I can’t help but think of how bad it must have felt for all those school kids at the bottom of those “gold star” lists!

How many of these children began their path to low self-esteem, poor self-image, depression and self-hatred, all because some teacher thought it would be a good idea to help “motivate” students to improve by “giving” them an opportunity to get “gold stars!”

Sad child
Sad child

What’s wrong with Gold Stars???   Who wouldn’t want one???

Gold stars ought to be like gum … if you’re going to chew it …. have some for everyone!

 Comparisons: The True Problem!

The true problem with comparison is that it stops you from making
your one TRUE unique contribution to the world!

Because if you stop and “compare” yourself to someone: you will
likely find someone who is:

  • smarter
  • funnier
  • taller
  • prettier / more handsome
  • stronger
  • even kinder!

It never ends!!!!

Think …. The Eagles ……. There’s A New Kid In Town!

What To Do Instead?

  • Own your uniqueness
  • There’s no one like you and never will be!
  • Your contribution is needed
  • Show up!
  • Share the “GOLD” that is “INSIDE” of you!
  • Shine like the “STAR” that you ARE!

There is a reason we are ALL different!

Shine your unique and special light on the world.

And together we can end the darkness by ALL shining bright together!


Big Thanks
geralt / Pixabay



Why I wrote This!

I was going to write an article about another topic, and I decided to
take a look on the net, to see what had been written on the subject.

I ended up totally psyching myself out by “comparing” what I thought
I was going to write with what was out there already!

I thought, what further do “I” have to contribute to this topic?

So and so did a great job on the topic! What more could I say???

The result was that I got stuck, paralyzed for several days and ended up
missing my blog deadline as a result!

It was a good reminder to me of what can happen when one compares
oneself to any one or any thing!


I hope that my brush with “comparing” is of use to someone out there
and helps you to shine “your” light onto the world!

Shine on!


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About Ron Lafleur

I am a counsellor in private practice specializing in couples therapy.

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