Sulking in Relationships

Sulking: Failing to Explain Ourselves 

So often in romantic relationships, we can get into trouble with one another by expecting our romantic partner to read our minds. In the early part of getting to know each other this tactic may work much to our surprise as we are discovering all of the things we have in common.

Unfortunately, as the following video on sulking demonstrates, we often resort to getting quiet and withdrawing when our partner fails to read our mind and “guess” what is bothering us.

Perhaps as so aptly demonstrated in the video we ought to not make our loved ones work so hard to try and guess what is bothering us. 

Why don’t we just TELL them what is bothering us?

Hmmm… now that might be too easy. 

Wouldn’t that require us to forego a lot of attention and drama, and making them suffer for not quickly guessing what it is that is bothering us?

Yes, it would.

And perhaps when we told them what is bothering us, then perhaps we can move towards resolving it and feeling close again.

It may be good for us to remember that we are fortunate that our partners love and care for us, and support us. Do we really want to add the extra burden of having them need to read our minds as well?

Try and remember this the next time you are tempted to withdraw and sulk away from your partner. Tell them and trust that they will want to work things out with you. If they don’t, then that is another matter altogether.

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About Ron Lafleur

I am a counsellor in private practice specializing in couples therapy.

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